i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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