hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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