It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
