Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You can't just leave with hair like that
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
