New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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