watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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