He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
