the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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