there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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