drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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