Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize