It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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