After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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