I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
