thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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