Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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