And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
