i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
