Christians are straight up FREAKS
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
