who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
