my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize