If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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