1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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