pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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