the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
