____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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