Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
