I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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