i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
