I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize