I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
