You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
