I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
