his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
