I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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