how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
