I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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