Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Randomize
