Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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