apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
