But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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