Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He did a backflip because drugs
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
