Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
