No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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