she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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