I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize