toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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