i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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