She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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