dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
