I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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