At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
