Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
