Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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