Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
