Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think your dad took our porno
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
