A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
A+ Viking dick
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
