i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
do nipples grow back?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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