I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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